To question 1, 50, 100, 150, 200, 250
251. Does'nt the phrase "put some head on the beer" get a whole different meaning if the waiter has dandruff?
250. If a man owned all the cows in Arabia would he then be a milk sheik?
249. Did you know that Russian Salad is Fastfood? Russian = rush in!
248. If here at weddings you throw rice do they throw potatoes in japan? [Upps]
247. If the partner of a synchonized swimmer drowns what does the swimmer do then? [Christian Überschall]
246. Shouldn't in your car not be two glove departements, one for the left and one for the right glove? [Christian Überschall]
245. How does a onearmed fisherman ly? [Dave Allen]
244. Do termites complain about splinters? [Dave Allen]
243. Did you notice that the second mouse gets the cheese?
242. Shouldn't an air-and-space-museum be totally empty? [Dennis Miller]
241. Does it make a sound if a pantomime gets struck by a lightning?
240. If Superman gets a divorce is he only allowed to jump over high buildings every second weekend?
239. Aren't your tits too big if you have th throw your handbag if you want to change hands? [Kay Ray]
238. Why do you to shut down Windows you have to click "Start"? [Eckart von Hirschhausen]
237. Do you sit in the cinema in the last row so that you have more time to understand the dialogs?
236. Shouldn't men avoid to put their mobile phone in their trousers because of the brain damage?
235. Aren't you really really paranoid if you feel followed but the person behind you is your own ass?
234. If you make a documentary about penguins does it really matter if you use color or not?
233. Isn't it really good that water exists because without water we couldn't learn to swim and had to drown? [Mike Krüger]
232. Do you live really far out if the mail man delivers your emails?
231. Isn't it the ultimate repulsion if your hand gets numb while masturbating?
230. How do you wrap styro foam?
229. Did it happen to you that you wanted to go to bed in the evening and you couldn't because you were still in it from the morning?
228. Did you know that falling asleep at the steering wheel is really good for not getting old? [Mike Krüger]
227. If there are swimming vests in planes are there parachutes on ships? [Kay Ray]
226. With all the pierced youngsters don't you wonder why (if you turn on the big electro magnet in physic) not suddenly everybody sits in the first row? [Heino Trusheim]
225. Could you try somebody for murder who wants to commit suicide and kills his twin by coincidence?
224. Is it really a misunderstanding if you sit down in a cinema in the first row to see the movie before the others? [Vince Ebert]
223. Don't you know any lonely people who put on a fur coat and steal in a petting zoo for being petted at least once? [Lioba Albus]
222. Don't well educated men pee out their camp fire while sitting? [Rüdiger Hofmann]
221. Don't you hate smokers that argue that smoking couldn't be so bad because everything is herbal? [Eckart von Hirschhausen]
220. Why are there fruit shampoos, most fruits don't have any hair?
219. Didn't Shakespeare program with his famous phrase: "2b .or. .not. 2b"?
218. Why do couples want to get old together but not so soon? [Reiss]
217. Don't you hate if you promised "till death do us part" and then you wait in vain? [Reiss]
216. Isn't dancing the vertical expression of a horizontal longing? [Hans-Werner Olm]
215. In times/countries when the widow of a king was buried together with him could'nt you identify the wife of a sick king because of her nervosity? [Barney Miller]
214. Wouldn't it in times of Internet not be really comfortable if you clicked on www.chinese.com and downloaded a peking duck?
213. How can you proof that the north half of the earth is spinning the other way round than the south one?
212. If I erase a word where does it go to? [Mike Krüger]
211. If I can hear my voice why can't I see my look? [Karl Valentin]
210. Do nude people sometimes dance cheek to cheek? [Carol Burnett]
209. Do you know any women with such a wide mouth that after smiling they have lipstick at their ears? [Carol Burnett}
208. If your parakeet Polly gets ill do you bring it to the poly clinics?
207. Who are the morses and why do we have their code?
206. Did you notice that the best way to get your train is to miss the one before?
205. Did you know that men talk in their sleep because they don't want to forget their language?
204. Doesn't the term "Last Minute Travel" a totally different meaning if you talk about old people?
203. Do clairvoyants have to turn on the light if they have to go the toilet in the night? [Kaya Yanar]
202. Do you like my favourite yoghurt: ananas or cocoa nut with whole fruits?
201. Isn't it maximum justice if millionaires and hobos have the same right to sleep under bridges? [Henning Venske]
200. If the universe is expanding why don't I ever get a parking space? [Woody Allen]
199. Would the movie "Casablanca" would have been the same if Harpo Marx or Jerry Lewis would have played the leading role? [By me]
198. Did you hear about the cannibal who bought "Head and Shoulders" because he thought it was a tv dinner? [Mike Krüger]
197. Isn't it a lot better to be the second husband of a widow than the first? [Robert Lembke]
196. Did you know that children in their youth learn a lot easier than in their old age? [Hörzu]
195. Did you know that Alfa never have been intimate with Romeo? [Hörzu]
194. Isn't it sad if a rain worm is going fishing?
193. What do you think about man that wants 5 children, all twins?
192. Why do you get wrinkles in your face although there's so much more space at your ass? [Mike Krüger]
191. Wouldn't scales not be useful that say "You reached your final weight, please report at the next butcher!"? [Stefan Bauer]
190. If a ventriloquist works at a conference for blind people does he really bother to bring his dummy? [Jay Leno]
189. How did people stay on earth before the law of gravity was enacted?
189. If you give a Cello as a present do you have to wrap it in Cellophane? [Hörzu]
188. Did you know that Zola's first name was Gorgon? [Hörzu]
187. Are you well enough educated to sign your anonymous letters? [Robert Lembke]
186. Don't you think too that the tv's years ago have been worse but the news have been better? [Hörzu]
185. Don't you prefer a princess ON the matress over a pea UNDER there? [Deutsches Mad]
184. Isn't nature great, if he's snoring and she's having trouble hearing? [Gong]
183. If a fire eater is really, really hungry does he then burn down the big circus tent? [Hörzu]
182. Should you buy a cheap watch in Hongkong although the have a different time over there?
181. Whow is more forgettful as the guy who forgets the birtday if his twin brother? [Hörzu]
180. How do some men manage to shave themselves if they have to laugh every time they see a dumb face? [Hörzu]
179. Did you know that Tucson really would like nice if it would be in Switzerland? [Hörzu]
178. Did you notice that every time you bow before somebody you show somebody else your behind? [Hörzu]
177. Did you know that there are two burials for each wedding? [Hörzu]
176. Shouldn't considerate drivers honk before driving over a crossing while the light is red? [Robert Lembke]
175. Do dumb people get a 50 % discount when visiting a mind reader? [Robert Lembke]
174. Did you know that you get 1000 Dollars very easily if you chrztpltz after zstzdst reflputsching and then hofuebploingt?
173. Shouldn't you have an empty bottle in your fridge just in case that somebody visits you who doesn't want to drink anything? [Hörzu]
172. Did you know that you can't see red wine if you check somebodys blood? [Hörzu]
171. Did you hear about the exitic dancer that didn't want to spend her wedding night in her business attire? [Neue Revue]
170. Opposites attract, but shoud a grave digger marry a midwife? [Stern]
169. Should you take people serious that don't understand a joke?
168. Shouldn't you boil your ice cubs because of the bacteria before putting them in your drink? [Neue Revue]
167. Isn't the best seat in an airplane in the front because during crashing the beverage cart passes you by one more time? [Anka Zink]
166. How did George W. Bush get 50 % in 2000 if only about 30 % voted?
165. If you wait for an urgent call that doesn't come why don't you go into the bathtub? [Robert Lembke]
164. Did you know that we now have a record year because it has the highest number of all times? [Hörzu]
163. Shouldn't you scratch your initials in your CDs before you lend them to a friend? [Hörzu]
163. If vegetarians fast do they then eat meat? [Hörzu]
162. Did you know that hairs and thoughts mostly are worthless after leaving a head? [Hörzu]
161. How about a dog food with postmen trousers flavor? [Gong]
160. Do you believe a guy that claims to be on vacation the last two days of february although there aren't any last two days in february? [Fernsehwoche]
159. Did you think bout wht would be if the lphbet strted with the letter B? [Hörzu]
158. Isn't it the easiest way to escape your own snoring if you sleep in an other room? [Kanal fatal]
157. If you have one chicken for dinner and one for lunch do you think if they knew each other? [George Carlin]
156. Did you hear about the gay Mafia, the really organized crime?
155. How do you notice that a dumb guy gets senile? [George Carlin]
154. Shouldn't a schizophrenic murderer automatically get several times life sentence?
153. Wouldn't you fly more calm if those baggage controllers had to fly with you? [Jay Leno]
152. Don't you know people who have such small knowledge of computers that - while defragmenting - they believe they're playing Tetris?
151. Don't you hate eating tongue because you don't like food that is able to taste back?
149. Did you know that nudists sometimes dance cheek to cheek? [Carol Burnett]
148. Do you know women with big mouths who after a smile have lipstick at their ears? [Carol Burnett]
147. Is it appropriate to play the song "Ding dong, the witch is dead" at your divorce (the burial of your mother in law)?
146. If you're working in a think tank how do you know that you're done thinking? [Letterman]
145. Are fishes getting thirsty at some time?
144. How would history have been if Hitler's first name woud have been Fridolin or Dick? [by me]
143. Kolumbus did three long voyages. On which voyage did he die?
142. What do you think about solar powered flash lights?
141. What advantages does it have for a man to be doing the household other than not to be poisoned because youre cooking yourself? [Richard Rogler}
141. What conclusion do we draw from the fact that the hole in the ozon layer was much smaller when smokers were allowed to smoke indoors?
140. Why am I not anymore be followed by women? Just because I stopped stealing handbags?
139. Are sharks really that dumb? Why don't they swim one foot lower before attacking?
138. Isn't a whirlpool not a real good invention for people with flatulence? [Eckart von Hirschhausen]
137. How do I get my am-radio to work in the afternoon?
136. If you live next to a cannibal doesn't the term "neighbourly grill party" get a whole new meaning?
135. Don't you find it intriguing that most imports come from other countries?
134. Did you notice in the movie "Titanic" that the people jumped over board every time Celine Dion started to sing?
133. If there is a life after death what are we going to wear?
132. If a man has sunburn on his legs wouldn't it be practical to take Viagra before going to bed to keep the sheets away from the burnt parts?
131. If cats really have 9 lifes aren't they ideal for dangerous experiments?
130. I don't like water skiing! Where do you find downhill lakes?
129. Are vegetarians allowed to wear leather shoes?
128. Do you know "elegant" men that flush the toilet before peeing?
127. Are there any other signs for a good Lambada dancer other than a wet knee?
126. Where did mosquitos meet before the invention of the electrical light?
125. Did you know that the sum of the intelligence on earth is constant but the number of people is growing all the time?
124. Could you repair a ditigal phone with an analog soldering iron?
123. Don't you like practical men that cut their toenails without removing their socks?
122. Why do you usually like the inlaws of your spouse more than your one?
121. Has Adam really been God's concept for Eve?
120. Does your door bell go "King Kong" if an ape is at the door?
119. Is it enough for a marriage if the only thing that husband and wife have in common is the day of their marriage?
118. If there weren't any men would there only be fat, happy women?
117. Couldn't the zoos save a lot of money for the food if they removed the fences?
116. Is an atheist allowed to have an easter vacation?
115. Don't you know people that could do something for their country especially emigrating?
114. Shouldn't we eat more beavers to save our trees? Don't you have a dirty mind?!
113. If the stork brings the little babies where are the small computers coming from?
112. Isn't it terrible for a male porn star if somebody screams "CUT"?
111. Don't you love air pollution because you finally are able to see what you breathe?
110. From whom do you get your opinion?
109. If you have troubles with your neighbours not respecting the boundaries of your property shouldn't you go the Department of De Fence? [From me]
108. Did you know that the show "Whose line is it anyway?" isn't about cocaine at all?
107. Is a Rabbi allowed to operate a Ham Radio Station?
106. Are there more reasons to watch Baywatch than those two: Pamela Anderson?
105. What happens if you sit on a squirrel and then eat some nuts?
104. In France they developed handies that are able to shoot. Can you use them in tunnels too?
103. If a man walks on his one (and especially without a woman) walks through the woods is he then wrong too?
102. What's the sound of only one hand clapping?
101. If you can't fall in sleep would warm sheep helf or counting milk?
100. Isn't daylight savings time bad for the environment because the sun shines now one hour longer?
99. Wouldn't it be pure justice if somewhere in the djungle a crocodile would walk around with a handbag made of skin of older women?
98. If you crash with an airplane in the mountains and you have to eat your neighbour which body part do you best start with?
97. If a woman elopes after a cosmetic operation with the cosmetic surgeon does the husband still have to pay for the operation?
96 Do you know any bad drivers that have accidents even in a washing street?
95. What good are those handies with builtin cameras? Who wants to fotograph only his own ear?
94. How many teenagers look at christmas where to put the batteries in the gift book?
93. How would our live change if our nose would be at our behind?
92. If a cat falls on its feet all the time and a jelly sandwich falls always on the jelly side what happens if you tie a jelly sandwich on a cat's back and then drop it?
91. Is it murder to tell somebody two really good jokes where the other one laughs himself half to dead?
90. Is it legal to insure your cigarettes against arson, smoke them and then claim it with your insurance?
89. Does your hard of hearing only start if a steam iron falls on your foot and you don't hear it?
88. Why didn't Noah use the opportunity and killed both mosquitos?
87. Is it correct that cannibals call tourist busses "meals on wheels"?
86. Do you believe a statistic that 18 percent of all golf players have sex on the court whereas women arent't allowed on most golf courses?
85. Why do some husbands look as if their wifes had to marry them because of a lost bet?
84. Whyaren't there any african-american reacedrivers in formula 1?
83. Could infertility be inherited?
82. Is it a pure coincidence that a carton of beer contains 24 cans and a day has 24 hours too?
81. Do you know any people which are so thin you could xray them with a 40 watts light bulb?
80. If I buy enough steaks and schnitzels from the same meat market would I then be able to build my own cow?
79. Is there a special reason that next to no music shop with rap music a weapon shop exists? Law or common sense?
78. In which country is Belgium located?
77. How many animals of each kind did Moses take into his arch?
76. If my behind is itching and the itching goes away without me scratching it who did scratch me?
75. The philosopher Descartes once said "I think therefore I am". Why is my neighbour (colleague, politician, ...) still existing?
74. If you kiss a woman which has the fat - removed from her behind - injected into her lips which part of her body do you really kiss?
73. In some restaurants you can buy small, middle and large soft drinks with free refills. Why then is anybody buying middle or large drinks?
72. Did you know that you can't buy beer rather than renting it?
71. Is there an easier way to study chemistry than to go swimming in the New York harbour?
70. Why shouldn't you spit a man in the face unless he has a moustache?
69. Isn't time not only the geometrical form of bioplasma represented through static geometry, whereas the concentration or bundeling of energy has to be understood as its dynamical appearance as stated in the dynamic geometry? [Bill Schul/Ed Pettit "The power of the pyramids"]
68. Shouldn't a professional lighthouse keeper turn off the light when he's going to bed?
67. Why aren't there Cliff Notes for the bible?
66. Doesn't the term 'bowling ball' get a whole different meaning if you talk about nude bowling?
65. If your dad has been frozen are you allowed to call him 'popsicle'?
64. Shouldn't you marry in the night if one partner has insomnia and the other one is really ugly?
63. May analphabets eat letter soup?
62. Would you prematurely use a parachute with the lettering 'Don't open before christmas!'?
61. Why did they start a new millenium although the old one was still good?
60. Wouldn't we automatically do more sport if the remote controls would be a lot heavier??
59. If a dog steals a sausage is he still allowed to be a police dog?
58. Why do all the people liking the Eiffel tower go to its top, the only place in Paris where you cannot see it?
57. Did you know that marriage is the most common reason for divorce?
56. How are you supposed to quit smoking with nicotine pads if they are burning so poorly?
55. Why do kamikaze pilots wear a helmet?
54. How huge Switzerland would have been if they wouldn't have put everything upright?
53. How come that always so much things happen to fit in a newspaper?
52. Love goes through the stomach. What happens to it after that?
51. If at a very cruel accident the heads of your spouse and your lover get switched with which person do you get home?
50. How is it possible that something in Egypt is older than 3000 years where we only write the year 2002?
49. Could Columbus have missed America with all those high buildings?
48. If you like condoms with fruity flavour do you get horny passing a fruit shop?
47. Why do they desinfect the syringe before lethal injections?
46. If you drive backwards with a cab do you get money back?
45. Is there another word for "synonym"?
44. Is it a coincidence that our arms have the right length for masturbation?
43. If a poison snake bites itself (by coincidence or purpose) does she have to die?
42. While transferring data only bits are sent, meaning zeroes and ones. Couldn't you totally forget abot the zeroes since they are zero and zero means nothing?
41. Is there a better and more moneysaving invention than a watertight teebag?
40. Am I really drunk if I'm able to lie on the floor without holding tight?
39. How many ecstacy pills do you have to take to see a cartoon at your wallpaper?
38. If it's raining are smaller people getting wet later?
37. Did you know that you're able to read a lot out of a man's signature sometimes even the name of the man?
36. Is it bad luck if Christmay Eve happens to be on a friday and especially on the thirteenth?
35. If you would take away one chopstick from every chinese would all chinese die by famine?
34. At a horse race a jockey (105 pounds) wins in 1 minute and 58 secs. How long would it have taken him if his weight would have been only 88 pounds?
33. 10 construction workers build a house in 150 days working 8 hours per day. How many workers do you need to build the house in one hour?
32. Is it ok for a vegetarian in love to have butterflies in his stomach?
31. When will be finally able to receive the Panama channel on tv?
30. When will they update the bible to version 3.0?
29. Why do some children lie for the first time if they say "Daddy"?
28. How would phones be constructed if mouth and ears would be farther apart?
27. If your fax machine is obsessed are you then doing a faxorcism?
26. Donald Duck always wears only his sailor's blouse. Why is he then wearing a towel around his waist after bathing?
25. Swimming slims. What are whales doing wrong?
24. Some glues claim to glue everything. Why do we then get it out of the tube?
23. In the summer are you using straight jackets with short arms?
22. If shops like 7-11 are open 24 hours per day and 7 days per week why do they have door locks?
21. Why do I get suspicious when I read an ad like "Used parachutes for free. No strings attached!"?
20. If you want to shoot a pantomime, do you have to be polite and use a silencer?
19. What happens if you tell a bold guy some hairraising facts?
18. Is a dwarf capable of committing a giant error?
17. How do you detect if a soothing pill works on a turtle?
16. Why is it that at the end of the money there is so much month left?
15. I learned in school about the speed of light. If it is so fast why doesn't the light go off then?
14. What's the
probability that the probability is inside the boundaries
of probability?
I state that the answer is 1?!
13. Why isn't
the phone line never busy if I
dial the wrong number?
Why am I always home if somebody else dials the wrong
number?
12. If birds had beards would it then be feathers?
11. How would you construct chairs if our knee caps were in the back instead of the front?
10. How would it be if there were no hypothetical questions?
9. If two women talk who has the last word?
8. If a tree collapses in the woods and nobody is around, is the tree then making a noise?
7. Mister A sells a PQ7 to Mister B, who is right?
6. Why doesn't milk boil over if you watch?
5. Why does a buttered slice of bread always falls buttered side down on the floor?
4. Did you really ever see a young pidgeon?
3. Did you ever meet somebody that stopped after one potato chip or one peanut?
2. Did Adam and
Eve have a navel?
If yes why? They haven't been born but created!
If no they weren't complete humans!
1. Just imagine:
the last human sits in his room and reads. He hears a
knock at his door. Who could that be?
(www.zelczak.com/question.htm)